Checkpoint 8 · Paper 2 writing (fiction)

Horror Stories (Spooky, Not Gory)

How to write a chilling horror story for Paper 2 that builds dread instead of blood: the features, a five-part plan, phrases, vocabulary and a full-mark 350+ word sample.

British & IGCSE › Checkpoint 8 English (Cambridge Lower Secondary 0861)

1. What is horror writing?

A horror story puts an ordinary, vulnerable person in an eerie or lonely place and slowly builds a feeling of dread (a heavy fear of something that has not happened yet) until it breaks into one moment of real fear. The threat can be supernatural (a ghost, a presence, a curse, something that cannot be explained) or psychological (a character who can no longer trust what they see and hear).

The secret of the genre is this: horror is not about the monster — it is about the uncertainty before the monster. The reader must doubt first and be afraid second. A creaking stair, a door that was locked and is now open, a voice that knows your name: these small, strange details are far scarier than any description of blood.

Spooky, not gory — this matters in the exam

Your reader is an examiner marking a story by a 13-year-old. Blood, injuries, weapons and violent deaths do not earn marks. They make the story feel cheap and can make it unsuitable.
The best horror stories at this level use suggestion: a sound, a shadow, a cold draught, a message that should not exist. Leave the reader to imagine the rest.
Never end with the main character being killed. Nobody would be left to tell the story, and it closes the tension instead of leaving it lingering.

	Horror	Mystery	Suspense in any story
The main feeling	dread and fear	curiosity: what happened?	tension: what will happen?
The question in the reader’s mind	Is it real? Will it get them?	Who or what is behind this?	Will they make it in time?
How it usually ends	unresolved — a lingering, chilling detail	the puzzle is solved	the danger passes (or does not)
Typical setting	empty building, old house, forest at night, a closed floor of a school	a house, village, school, museum	anywhere

Purpose: to frighten and entertain the reader — and to keep them reading. Audience: the examiner is your reader. Write for an intelligent teenager or adult who wants to feel a chill down the back of the neck, not a shock of gore.

Where it sits in the exam

Paper 2 is the Fiction paper. It lasts 1 hour 10 minutes and is worth 50 marks: Section A Reading (25 marks) and Section B Writing (25 marks).
Section B is one story task. It is usually linked by theme to the fiction extract you read in Section A, and it gives you bullet prompts (for example: the character, the place, what happens, how it ends).
The suggested time for Section B is about 35 minutes, and planning space is given. Planning is not marked, but it is where good stories are won.
The task will not say "write a horror story". It gives you a theme. YOU decide that this genre is the best way to answer it — and then you stay inside the genre from the first line to the last, while still answering every bullet.
The same format is used in the Stage 8 Progression Test you sit at school, so everything on this page works for both.

Themes that suit a horror story (the kind of theme a task may give you): being alone, a strange place, something that cannot be explained, a warning that is ignored, a promise or a dare, a night that changed everything, an old object, a visit to somewhere new, hearing something you should not, a place with a secret.

How your story is marked (25 marks)

Your story is marked in five categories (official names first, with the older names some teachers use in brackets). Here is what the top band looks like for a horror story, in our own words.

Mark category	Marks	What the top band looks like in this genre
Creation of texts	5	The story clearly answers the theme and every bullet. The eerie mood is sustained from the first line to the last. The reader feels the character’s fear and wants to know what happens. The ending leaves a lingering chill.
Vocabulary and language	3	Precise words chosen for mood (eerie, sinister, hollow, faint, flickering, dread) and sensory imagery — especially sound and touch. One strong simile beats five weak ones.
Structure of texts (Text structure)	7	A clear five-part arc: hook → setting and first sign → small strange events that escalate → climax → unresolved ending. Paragraph length controls the pace (one-line paragraphs for shocks).
Grammar and punctuation (Sentence structure, punctuation and grammar)	7	Deliberate sentence variety: long complex sentences to build atmosphere, then very short sentences for shock. Ellipsis for suspense, dashes, a colon, a semicolon, and correctly punctuated speech — all accurate.
Word structure (spelling)	3	Ambitious words spelt correctly (eerie, silhouette, sinister, banister, cautiously, whispered, ceiling). No homophone slips (there/their, piece/peace, quite/quiet).
Total	25	Best fit: the examiner reads the whole story and matches it, row by row, to the band that describes it best. Planning is not marked.

Rules that can cap your mark

20 words or fewer scores 0. A very short answer (about 21-60 words) can get no more than 7 marks out of 25.
If you write the wrong text type (for example, a diary entry or a newspaper report instead of a story), Creation of texts is capped at 1 and Structure of texts is capped too.
If the story drifts away from the task's theme, you lose Creation marks even if the writing is beautiful — keep the bullet prompts in front of you.
Marking is best fit: the examiner reads the whole story and matches it, row by row, to the band that describes it best.

2. Features of horror writing

Use this table as your toolkit. Choose 5-6 features that fit your idea and use them well.

Feature	What it means	Example sentence
An eerie, isolated setting	A place where help is far away: an empty building, a closed floor, a forest, a house at the end of the road	By half past six, the school had emptied like a drained bath.
A vulnerable, ordinary protagonist	Someone the reader recognises — a student, a younger sibling — not a hero with special powers	Laila sat on the bottom step to wait for her dad.
Sustained dread	The fear grows slowly through small details. It never drops back to normal until the end	Somewhere above her, a pipe knocked twice… and stopped.
Supernatural or psychological threat	Something that cannot be explained, or a mind that cannot trust itself	The piano was locked. Nobody could have played it.
Uncertainty about what is real	The character (and reader) keep trying to explain it away	She told herself it was the caretaker. She did not believe it.
Sensory description	Sound, cold, smell and touch make fear physical — sight is often limited by darkness	Her breath was making faint clouds in front of her face.
Isolation and helplessness	No phone signal, no adults, the door closes behind them	The door swung shut. The corridor light went out.
A warning or rule that is broken	A sign, a story, a grandparent’s words — ignored	A strip of yellow tape and a sign: NO ENTRY.
A chilling twist or lingering ending	The final detail shows the horror has not really ended	Somewhere in the dark house, someone was quietly clapping.

Language and layout features every story needs (these earn the Structure and Grammar marks):

Feature	How to use it in horror	Example
A title	Short and unsettling — one place or object from the story	The Music Room Upstairs / The Last Bus / Room 12
Paragraphs	New paragraph for a new time, place or speaker — and a one-line paragraph for each shock	Then the piano began to play.
Dialogue	Short, whispered lines. Questions that get no answer	“Hello?” she called. Nobody answered.
Show, don’t tell (STEAL)	Show fear through Speech, Thoughts, Effect on others, Actions and Looks — never just "I was scared"	Her fingers tightened around the cold banister.
Imagery	Simile, metaphor and personification that make the place feel alive and watching	a thin line of light lay across the floor like a finger beckoning her closer
Sentence variety	Long sentences to build the mood, then short ones to stop the reader’s breath	Nobody had played that piano for months. Nobody could have.
Repetition	Repeat a sound or phrase so it becomes a pattern the reader dreads	The same three notes. Again.
Varied punctuation	Ellipsis for a pause or suspense, a pair of dashes for extra information, a colon before an explanation	Somewhere above her, a pipe knocked twice… and stopped.
Past tense, one point of view	First person (I) feels closer. Third person (she) lets you describe her face and hands	Keep the same choice from start to finish.

The golden rule of horror: less is more

Do not show the ghost in paragraph two. Show its traces: a sound, a cold patch, an object that has moved, a message. Every time your character finds an ordinary explanation, take it away again. The reader’s imagination will always build something scarier than your description — so give it room.

3. How to structure your story

First, plan with G.C.S.P.P. (about 5 minutes):

G — Genre: horror. Decide the ONE strange thing at the centre in a single line (a piano that plays by itself, a voice that knows your name, a photo that changes).
C — Characters: 1-3 only. A vulnerable protagonist with a name and a reason to be there, perhaps a friend or family member who does not believe them. The "threat" may never be seen at all.
S — Setting: one main place you can describe with the senses — especially sound and cold. If the task gives a setting, use it and make it eerie.
P — Point of view: first person (I) or close third person (she/he), past tense. If you continue an extract, keep ITS point of view.
P — Plot: follow the five-part arc below and write a note for each paragraph.

Then follow this paragraph-by-paragraph plan, based on the five-part horror arc from my writing book.

Paragraph	Stage	What to write	Length
1	Hook — action or an ominous image	Start in a moment: a message, a sound, a dare, a character waiting alone. Hold back explanation. Show who the character is.	2-4 sentences
2	Build-up — the setting and the first sign	Describe the place with 3-4 senses (sound, cold, smell). Add a warning or rule. End with the first small strange thing.	4-6 sentences
3	The first real event	Something happens that cannot be ignored. Use a one-line paragraph for impact.	1-3 sentences
4	Rising action — doubt and decision	The character tries to explain it away, then decides to investigate (or cannot escape). Escalate with 2-3 small uncanny events: flickers, footsteps, a door, a voice.	5-8 sentences
5	Climax — the terrifying discovery	One concentrated moment. Sentences shorten. The threat is confirmed — but suggested, not shown in gory detail.	3-6 sentences
6	Escape / aftermath	The character gets away or returns to normal life. Ordinary details (warm car, a parent’s voice) contrast with the fear.	2-4 sentences
7	Unresolved ending — the lingering chill	Avoid neat closure. One final detail shows the horror has not ended. Echo the opening if you can.	1-3 sentences

Minutes	What you do
0–5	Read the task twice. Underline the theme and every bullet prompt. Plan with G.C.S.P.P. (Genre, Characters, Setting, Point of view, Plot) and jot a short note for each paragraph.
5–30	Write. Aim for at least 350 words (strong answers are often 400–550 words). By about minute 15 you should have reached the first real event (paragraph 3).
30–35	Proofread: spelling of your ambitious words, full stops (no comma splices), speech punctuation, capital letters, one tense and one point of view.

4. Useful phrases and vocabulary

Adapt these — change the names, places and objects to fit your story. Use one or two per stage. Do not stack them.

Openings (hooks)

“Run.” That was all [Name] could think as [he/she] stumbled down the [empty corridor / dark lane], the sound behind [him/her] never quite fading.
The [old house / empty school / closed shop] stood at the end of the street, its windows dark and empty like hollow eyes.
[Name] told [himself/herself] it was nothing. [He/She] didn’t believe it.
Something had followed [Name] home. [He/She] just didn’t know it yet.
Everyone in [the village / our building] knew the rule about [the attic / the fourth floor]. Nobody knew why.

Describing the eerie setting

The silence wasn’t empty — it was waiting.
A single [bulb / candle / torch] flickered, casting shadows that seemed to move on their own.
Every floorboard groaned as though the house itself was listening.
The air grew colder with every step, and the smell of dust and damp clung to the walls.
Sheets lay over the furniture like crouching figures.

Showing fear (STEAL)

[Name]’s fingers trembled around the [door handle / torch / banister].
[He/She] told [himself/herself] to breathe. It didn’t work.
Every hair on the back of [his/her] neck stood up.
[Name] had always been the sensible one. Tonight, that wasn’t helping.
[His/Her] heart thudded so loudly that [he/she] was sure the whole house could hear it.

Building suspense

“Did you hear that?” [Name] whispered. “By the [stairs / window].”
“I locked that door,” [Name] said. “Then why is it open?”
“Who’s there?” The question hung in the dark, unanswered — and somehow, that was worse.
It was only the wind. It had to be.
Then it came again: closer this time.

Climax

For a split second, [Name] saw it — something pale at the end of the corridor.
Something cold brushed against [his/her] hand. There was nothing there.
[Name] froze. “No… that’s impossible.”
Nobody had touched it for years. Nobody could have.

Unresolved endings

They made it out into the grey dawn light. But [Name] knew it wasn’t over.
The [house / forest / music room] was behind them now. It didn’t feel that way.
They never spoke about what they had seen. But some nights, [Name] still heard it.
On the kitchen table lay [the object] — the one [he/she] had left behind.

Word / phrase	Meaning / use
eerie (adj.)	strange and frightening — an eerie silence filled the corridor
sinister (adj.)	suggesting that something bad or evil will happen — a sinister shadow at the window
ominous (adj.)	warning that something bad is coming — an ominous creak from the attic
dread (n.)	a heavy fear of something that has not happened yet — Dread settled in her stomach.
apparition (n.)	a ghostly figure — A pale apparition stood at the top of the stairs.
spectral (adj.)	ghostly, like a spirit — a spectral glow behind the glass
pallid (adj.)	unnaturally pale — the pallid face in the old photograph
desolate (adj.)	empty, lonely and bleak — the desolate playground after dark
dilapidated (adj.)	old and falling to pieces — a dilapidated house at the end of the lane
malevolent (adj.)	wishing harm on others — a malevolent presence in the doorway
discordant (adj.)	harsh and wrong in sound — a discordant note from the broken music box
rasping (adj.)	harsh and rough, like a struggling breath — a rasping whisper
silhouette (n.)	a dark shape against a lighter background — a tall silhouette in the doorway
foreboding (n.)	a strong feeling that something bad will happen — a sense of foreboding
uncanny (adj.)	strange in a way that is hard to explain — an uncanny likeness to her own face

A note on the vocabulary in horror word lists

Some horror word lists include gory words (about blood, bodies and decay). You will rarely need them: they push your story towards gore and away from dread. Words for sound, cold, light and silence (eerie, rasping, flickering, hushed, hollow) do far more work in a 35-minute exam story.

5. Strong sample answer

Horror story — The Music Room Upstairs510 words · Strong answer — Creation 5/5 · Vocabulary 3/3 · Structure 7/7 · Grammar & punctuation 7/7 · Spelling 3/3

Task: In the extract you have read, a character is left alone in an unfamiliar building after dark. Write a story about a young person who hears or sees something they cannot explain. In your story you should: introduce the character and the place where they are, describe what they notice and how they react, and explain what happens in the end.

“Five more minutes,” Dad’s message said. Laila sighed, slid her phone into her pocket and sat down on the bottom step of the old music block to wait.

By half past six, the school had emptied like a drained bath. The cleaners had gone, the caretaker’s radio had fallen silent, and the long corridor behind her was dim and grey. Rain ticked against the windows. Somewhere above her, a pipe knocked twice… and stopped. The second floor had been closed since the summer; a strip of yellow tape still sagged across the top of the staircase, with a cardboard sign dangling from it: NO ENTRY.

Then the piano began to play.

It was only three notes at first, slow and careful, as if someone were testing the keys. Laila froze. She knew that tune. It was the winter-concert lullaby — the one her class had practised all week — and Mr Fawzy kept saying that nobody played it correctly yet.

“Hello?” she called. Her voice sounded small and thin in the empty stairwell. The music stopped instantly.

She told herself it was the caretaker. She told herself it was a recording, a phone left on a desk, anything at all. She did not believe any of it. Her fingers tightened around the cold banister, and before she could change her mind, she ducked under the tape and began to climb.

Every step creaked. The air grew colder with each one; by the top, her breath was making faint clouds in front of her face. The corridor smelt of dust and old varnish. At the far end, the door of Room 12 stood half open, and a thin line of yellow light lay across the floor like a finger beckoning her closer.

The piano started again: the same three notes, then the whole melody, played perfectly.

Laila pushed the door. It swung open without a sound.

The room was empty. Rows of chairs were stacked against the walls under white sheets that looked like crouching figures. The piano stood in the corner with its lid closed and a heavy padlock hanging from it, the keyhole furred with dust. Nobody had played that piano for months. Nobody could have.

But on the music stand, propped neatly against the wood, was a sheet of paper. It was her own copy of the lullaby, the one she had lost on Monday, still covered in her own handwriting. Across the bottom, in faded pencil, someone had added a single line: ‘You’re playing the third bar too fast.’

Laila did not remember running down the stairs. She only remembered the headlights of Dad’s car sweeping across the playground and the warm, ordinary smell of the heater as she slammed the door.

“Good rehearsal?” Dad asked.

She nodded. She could not speak.

That night, she practised the lullaby until her fingers ached. She played the third bar slowly, very slowly, exactly as she had been told. And when she finally closed the lid, somewhere in the dark house behind her, she was almost sure she heard someone quietly clapping.

Why this gets the marks

Creation of texts 5/5 — every bullet is answered: the character and the place (paragraphs 1-2), what she notices and how she reacts (3-11), what happens in the end (12-15). The mood of dread never drops, and the ending leaves a chill instead of a neat explanation.
Creation — suitable horror: nothing gory, no injuries. The fear comes from suggestion: a piano that is padlocked, a lost sheet of music, a pencilled message that knows her mistake.
Vocabulary 3/3 — words chosen for mood: sagged, dangling, furred with dust, varnish, beckoning, crouching figures. Sound vocabulary builds tension (ticked, knocked, creaked, clapping).
Vocabulary — imagery: simile (emptied like a drained bath, a thin line of light … like a finger beckoning her closer, sheets that looked like crouching figures) and sensory detail of cold (her breath was making faint clouds).
Structure 7/7 — the five-part arc: hook through a message (1) → eerie setting with a warning, NO ENTRY (2) → first event as a one-line paragraph (3) → doubt, decision and escalation (4-8) → climax: the locked piano and the message (9-11) → escape into ordinary warmth (12-14) → unresolved ending (15).
Structure — cohesion: the lullaby and the "third bar" link the middle to the ending. Short paragraphs ("She nodded. She could not speak.") control the pace. The warm car contrasts with the cold corridor.
Grammar & punctuation 7/7 — sentence variety for effect: repeated short sentences for shock ("Nobody had played that piano for months. Nobody could have."), a repeated sentence opening for denial ("She told herself… She told herself…"), long compound-complex sentences for atmosphere ("Her fingers tightened around the cold banister, and before she could change her mind, she ducked under the tape and began to climb.").
Grammar & punctuation — range used accurately: ellipsis for a suspense pause ("knocked twice… and stopped"), a pair of dashes for extra information ("— the one her class had practised all week —"), a colon for extra information ("a cardboard sign dangling from it: NO ENTRY") and for explanation ("started again: the same three notes…"), semicolons joining two related sentences ("The second floor had been closed since the summer; a strip of yellow tape still sagged…" / "The air grew colder with each one; by the top, her breath was making faint clouds…"), a pair of commas for extra information ("the one she had lost on Monday,"), inverted commas for a written quotation, and speech set out correctly on new lines.
Spelling 3/3 — ambitious words spelt correctly: rehearsal, caretaker’s, banister, varnish, beckoning, padlock, lullaby, clapping, practised (British spelling of the verb). Apostrophes correct (Dad’s, You’re).

6. Common mistakes and final checklist

Common mistake	Why it loses marks	Fix
Gore: blood, wounds, weapons, "he was killed"	Shock without dread. Unsuitable. The examiner stops being afraid and starts being uncomfortable	Suggest, do not show. A cold hand, a sound, an object that has moved.
Showing the monster too early	Tension collapses in paragraph 2 — nothing is left for the climax	Hold the threat back until the climax, and even then show only part of it.
"I was scared. It was very scary."	Telling, not showing. Weak vocabulary	STEAL: trembling fingers, a dry throat, a whisper, a step backwards.
Too many horror clichés at once (ghost + zombie + vampire + haunted doll)	Confusing and comic instead of frightening	One strange thing, explored properly.
"Then I woke up. It was all a dream."	Cancels the whole story. Examiners mark it down	End with a lingering detail that might be real.
The main character dies at the end	Closes the tension and cannot be narrated in first person	Let them escape — but take something (or someone) with them.
Every sentence the same length	No control of pace. Grammar & punctuation marks drop	Long sentences to build, short sentences to shock.
Ellipsis everywhere…… or "!!!"	Overused punctuation loses its effect and looks careless	One ellipsis for one real pause. One exclamation mark at most.

Checklist before you hand in

My story answers the theme and EVERY bullet prompt.
I opened in a moment (a sound, a message, a dare) — not with "One day…" or a list of facts about me.
My setting uses at least three senses, especially sound and cold.
The fear builds step by step, and my character tries to explain it away at least once.
My climax suggests the threat rather than describing gore.
I used short sentences for shock, long complex sentences for atmosphere, and at least one one-line paragraph.
I used an ellipsis, a dash or pair of dashes, a colon and a semicolon correctly, and my speech is on new lines.
My ending leaves a lingering chill (no "it was a dream"), and I checked the spelling of my ambitious words.

إزاي تكتب قصة رعب تجيب الدرجة النهائية؟

الرعب الحقيقي بييجي من الغموض والتوقّع، مش من الدم. متكتبش جروح ولا قتل؛ استخدم صوت، برد، باب اتفتح لوحده، رسالة غريبة.
متظهرش "الوحش" أو الشبح في أول القصة. خلّي الخوف يكبر خطوة بخطوة لحد الذروة.
البطل لازم يحاول يلاقي تفسير منطقي ("أكيد ده الهوا") وبعدين يحصل حاجة تهدّ التفسير ده.
نوّع طول الجمل: جمل طويلة توصف المكان، وجمل قصيرة جداً وقت الصدمة.
الخاتمة تسيب القارئ قلقان بتفصيلة صغيرة، ومتقولش أبداً "وصحيت وكان حلم".

Practice tasks

Practice task 1: The extract you read describes a family moving into an old house. Write a story about a character who discovers that a new place is not as ordinary as it seems. You should describe the place, what the character notices, and how the story ends. Write a short G.C.S.P.P. plan with paragraph notes.
Show answer
G: horror (supernatural, suggested). C: Adam (12, sensible, the new boy), his little sister Nour (who says she has made a "friend"), Mum (too busy to listen). S: a flat in an old building in Heliopolis. High ceilings, a hallway mirror that is always misted, a radiator that knocks. P: first person, past tense. Plot — 1 Hook: "Who are you talking to?" I asked. Nour smiled. "The girl in the mirror." 2 Setting: the move, cold rooms, the misted mirror, the knocking radiator. 3 Event: words written in the mist: HELLO ADAM. 4 Rising: he wipes it away, tells himself Nour did it. That night the knocking spells a rhythm. Mum dismisses it. 5 Climax: he writes WHO ARE YOU? in the mist. The answer appears from the other side of the glass: I LIVED HERE FIRST. 6 Aftermath: morning, sunlight, breakfast, everything ordinary. 7 Ending: Nour, humming, draws two girls holding hands — one of them has no face.
Practice task 2: Write a story called "The Last Bus". Plan it in 7 paragraph notes, making sure the ending is unresolved.
Show answer
1 Hook: The last bus was eight minutes late, and Hana was the only one waiting. 2 Setting: a rainy, empty stop on the edge of town. Flickering street lamp. The smell of wet tarmac. 3 Event: an old-fashioned bus arrives, its windows misted, the driver’s face hidden. 4 Rising: she gets on. The passengers all face forward and never move. The ticket in her hand is dated forty years ago. She tries to ring the bell — no sound. 5 Climax: she sees her own stop pass by. In the mirror, the driver’s eyes meet hers, and he says, "Not your stop yet." 6 Aftermath: she wakes on the bench at the bus stop, cold, at dawn. The normal first bus arrives. 7 Ending: in her pocket is the old ticket, still warm. (Note: this is NOT "it was a dream" — the ticket proves something happened.)
Improve this paragraph so it earns higher marks: "The house was very scary and dark. I was very scared. Then I saw a ghost and it was horrible and it had blood on it and I screamed."
Show answer
Example: The house was so dark that I could hear it before I could see it: the slow drip of a tap, the groan of a floorboard settling under a weight that was not mine. My torch flickered. For a split second, at the end of the hallway, something pale turned towards me. I did not scream. I could not find enough breath to scream. — Why it is better: it shows fear instead of telling it, uses sound and light, removes the gore, controls the pace with short sentences and uses a colon correctly for explanation.
Why does the writer use the ellipsis in this line: "Somewhere above her, a pipe knocked twice… and stopped."? Give all the possible effects you could write.
Show answer
Possible answers: to create suspense — the reader waits, like Laila, to see if the sound will continue. To show a pause in time between the knocking and the silence. To slow the reader down so the silence after it feels heavier. To suggest that something unseen might be there (incomplete information). To build tension before the next strange event. (Any two well-explained effects would usually earn the marks.)
Which sentence uses the semicolon correctly? (a) The room contained three things; a piano, some chairs and a mirror. (b) The door creaked open; nobody was there. (c) Although the door creaked open; nobody was there.
Show answer
(b). A semicolon joins two complete, closely related sentences. (a) needs a colon before a list. (c) starts with a subordinate clause, which is not a complete sentence, so it needs a comma: Although the door creaked open, nobody was there.

All pages in this course

Start here: the exam

Reading: grammar & punctuation

Reading: understanding texts

Paper 1 writing: non-fiction

Paper 2 writing: fiction