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Checkpoint 8 · Paper 1 writing (non-fiction)

Formal and Informal Emails

How to write formal and informal emails for Checkpoint 8 Paper 1: subject lines, greetings and sign-offs, structure (including the narrative email) and two strong 350+ word samples.

British & IGCSE › Checkpoint 8 English (Cambridge Lower Secondary 0861)

1. What is an email, and where does it appear?

An email is a letter sent electronically. It does the same jobs as a letter – sharing news, inviting, complaining, requesting – but its layout is simpler: there are no postal addresses and no date at the top, and instead there is a subject line that tells the reader what the email is about before they open it. Like letters, emails are either informal (to friends and family) or formal (to a teacher, headteacher, company, council or anyone you do not know personally). In Checkpoint 8 an email would come in Paper 1 (Non-fiction), Section B Writing: one task, 25 marks, about 35 minutes.

Informal emailFormal email
ReaderFriend, cousin, classmate, relativeHeadteacher, teacher, manager, company, council, organiser
PurposeShare news, tell a story (recount), invite, thank, give adviceRequest, enquire, complain, apply, suggest, apologise
Subject lineShort, casual, may hint at the story: Guess what happened on Saturday?!Clear and specific: Request for permission to hold a book fair on 21 May
GreetingHi Hassan, / Dear Hassan, / Hello Hassan,Dear Mrs Mansour, (name known) / Dear Sir or Madam, (name unknown)
ToneChatty, friendly, contractions, humourPolite, precise, impersonal – no contractions, slang or emojis
Sign-offSpeak soon, / Take care, / Love, + first nameYours sincerely, / Yours faithfully, (or Kind regards,) + full name
Emails in the exam
  • Section B of Paper 1 gives one non-fiction task with bullet points. If it says "Write an email…", use email layout – a subject line, a greeting and a sign-off – and no addresses.
  • If the task says "letter", do not write an email (and the other way round). Writing the wrong text type caps Creation of texts at 1 mark.
  • A very common informal type is the narrative (recount) email: you tell a friend the story of a trip, event or competition. It is still an email, so it keeps the email layout.

2. How an email is marked (out of 25)

Category (official name)MarksWhat the bands ask for (in simple words)What it means for this genre
Creation of texts (older name: content, purpose and audience)5Bands 1 · 2 · 3 · 4–5. Low: little link to the task. Middle: relevant, some points developed. Top: every point in the task developed in detail, a clear viewpoint, the right tone for the reader all the way through, and the reader stays interested.Cover and develop every bullet point. Keep the register right for the reader (friend vs headteacher) from the subject line to the sign-off.
Vocabulary and language31 = simple, repeated words · 2 = some well-chosen words that suit the text type · 3 = precise, ambitious vocabulary chosen for its effect on the reader.Informal: vivid, natural language (a roller coaster, as white as a sheet). Formal: precise words (on behalf of, affordable, responsible, supervised).
Structure of texts (older name: text structure)7Bands 1 · 2–3 · 4–5 · 6–7. Low: few or no paragraphs. Middle: paragraphs in a sensible order with simple links. Top: well-controlled paragraphs, smooth links between them, an effective opening and ending, and the correct layout for the text type.A subject line that matches the content, a correct greeting and sign-off, an opening that says why you are writing, one point per paragraph, a closing that asks for a reply or action.
Grammar and punctuation (older name: sentence structure and punctuation)7Bands 1 · 2–3 · 4–5 · 6–7. Low: mostly simple sentences with errors. Middle: some variety, mostly accurate verbs and commas. Top: a wide range of sentence types used for effect, accurate verb forms and a range of punctuation used correctly.Sentences: mix lengths and types – short ones for drama in a story email, longer complex ones to explain in a formal email. Punctuation: accurate commas, apostrophes and inverted commas, plus a colon, dash or brackets used correctly.
Word structure (spelling)31 = many common words wrong · 2 = most common words right · 3 = nearly all words right, including longer, ambitious words.Spell email words correctly: receive, separate, necessary, opportunity, sincerely, apologise (British -ise), responsible.
Three marking rules you must know
  • Wrong text type = heavy penalty. If the task asks for one text type and you write another, Creation of texts is capped at 1 mark and Structure of texts is capped too (at 3, or 2 if the content is also off-task). Layout is not decoration: it protects your marks.
  • Length: 20 words or fewer scores 0, and 21–60 words can score no more than 7 out of 25. A full answer is several developed paragraphs.
  • Your plan is not marked. Plan quickly, then spend your time on the writing itself.

3. Features of emails

FeatureInformal email – exampleFormal email – example
Subject line (first line, starts with Subject:)Subject: You'll never guess what happened at the robotics final!Subject: Request for permission to hold a charity book fair on Thursday 21 May
Greeting on its own line + commaHi Hassan,Dear Mrs Mansour,
Opening paragraphAsk about the reader, say sorry for being quiet, hint at the news.I hope this email finds you well. I am writing on behalf of… to request…
Body paragraphsOne part of the news or story per paragraph, with dialogue or a funny detail.One point per paragraph: background, plan, benefits.
Direct addressYou remember the competition…? Imagine us meeting in the final!I would be very grateful if you could…
Attachments (formal)Not needed.I have attached a short plan…
Closing lineWrite back soon and tell me everything!Thank you for your time and support. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sign-off + comma, name on the next lineSpeak soon, / AliYours sincerely, / Laila Samir / Class 8B
What you do NOT writeNo postal address, no date at the top.No postal address, no date at the top, no emojis, no text-speak (u, pls, thx).
Writing a strong subject line
  • Formal: say exactly what you want and add a detail (date, name, class). Request for… / Enquiry about… / Complaint regarding… / Apology for…
  • Informal: make your friend want to open it – a question, an exclamation or a teaser. Big news from the robotics final! / Are you free in August?
  • Keep it short: about 4–12 words. A subject line is not a sentence of the email, so it does not need a full stop.
  • Never leave the subject line out – it is the layout feature that shows the examiner this is an email.

4. How to structure an email

PartInformal emailFormal email
Subject lineCasual teaser.Clear, specific purpose.
GreetingHi / Dear / Hello + first name + comma.Dear + title + surname + comma, or Dear Sir or Madam,
Paragraph 1 – openingHow are you? Mention their life, apologise for being quiet, say why you are writing.Polite opening line + purpose in one sentence.
Paragraph 2 – first bullet pointBackground: what the event or news was.Background or reason: why you are writing.
Paragraph 3 – second bullet pointWhat happened, in order, with feelings and a vivid detail (the story).Details: how, when, where, who – your plan or the problem.
Paragraph 4 – third bullet pointFeelings, reflection, invitation or advice.Benefits, solution or what you are asking for.
Closing paragraphI'd better go… Write back soon.Polite request + mention of any attachment + thanks.
Sign-offSpeak soon, / Take care, / Love, + first name.Yours sincerely, (named) / Yours faithfully, (Sir or Madam) + full name (+ class or role).

The narrative (recount) email. When the task asks you to tell a friend about an experience, shape the body like a short story: set the scene (when, where, who), tell the key events in order with vivid detail – and perhaps a line of dialogue – show how you felt at the most important moment, then wrap the story up before the closing paragraph.

5. How to start and how to end

Informal openings

  • How's life in…? I hope you're settling in well.
  • Sorry I've been so quiet lately – it's been chaos here!
  • Thanks for your email; it was great to hear from you.
  • You won't believe what happened on Saturday!
  • Guess what? I've got some big news.

Formal openings

  • I hope this email finds you well.
  • I am writing on behalf of… to request…
  • I am writing to enquire about…
  • I am writing to apologise for…
  • I am writing regarding…

Informal closings

  • Anyway, I'd better go – my homework is calling!
  • Write back soon and tell me all your news.
  • Let me know if you can come.
  • Keep me posted!
  • Speak soon, / Take care, / Love, / Cheers,

Formal closings

  • I would be very grateful if you could consider my request.
  • I have attached… for your reference.
  • Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need any further information.
  • Thank you for your time and support.
  • I look forward to hearing from you.

6. Useful phrases and strong vocabulary

Telling a story (informal)

  • It all started when…
  • The day itself was a roller coaster.
  • Just when we thought…, …
  • Then, out of nowhere, …
  • In the end, …
  • I've never felt so proud – or so exhausted.

Explaining a plan (formal)

  • The idea came from…
  • Over the next three weeks, …
  • On the day itself, …
  • … would be responsible for…
  • Any … would be donated to…

Giving reasons and benefits (formal)

  • We believe this would…
  • In our opinion, … would benefit from…
  • Most importantly, …
  • This would also give students the opportunity to…
Word / phraseMeaning / use
on behalf ofrepresenting a person or group: on behalf of Class 8B
enquireask for information (formal, British spelling)
attachedadded to the email as a file: I have attached a plan
regardingabout (formal)
affordablecheap enough for people to buy
donategive money or things to help others
supervisedwatched and managed by an adult or person in charge
convenientsuitable, easy for someone: at a convenient time
chaoscomplete confusion and disorder
buzzingfull of excited activity and noise
a roller coasteran experience full of ups and downs (idiom)
as white as a sheetvery pale from fear or shock (simile)
exhaustedextremely tired
keep me postedkeep giving me news (informal)
to spareleft over: with four seconds to spare

7. Timing in the exam

Minutes (Section B, about 35 min)What to do
0–4G.A.A.P.: underline the Genre, Audience, Area of content (every bullet point) and Purpose. Decide formal or informal.
4–8Plan: one line per paragraph, plus 3–4 ambitious words and one or two punctuation features you will use.
8–31Write. Keep each bullet point in its own paragraph and develop it with detail, an example or a reason.
31–35Proofread: layout, spelling of ambitious words, capital letters, apostrophes, and the sign-off or ending.

8. Strong sample 1 – informal (narrative) email

Informal email: telling a friend about a competition410 words · Strong answer — Creation 5/5 · Vocabulary 3/3 · Structure 7/7 · Grammar & punctuation 7/7 · Spelling 3/3
Task: You recently took part in a competition. Write an email to a friend who has moved to another city. In your email you should: • explain what the competition was • describe what happened on the day • say how you felt and invite your friend to the next one

Subject: You'll never guess what happened at the robotics final!

Hi Hassan,

How's life in Alexandria? I hope your new school is treating you well and that you've found someone who laughs at your terrible jokes as much as I do. Sorry I've been so quiet lately – the last three weeks have been absolute chaos. Still, I had to tell you about Saturday, because it was honestly one of the best days of my life.

You remember the inter-school robotics competition Mr Fathy kept talking about? Well, our team finally entered it. There were four of us: me, Ziad, Mostafa and Adam (the new boy who knows more about circuits than our teacher does). Each team had to build a small robot that could follow a black line round a twisting track, pick up three coloured blocks and drop them into the right boxes – all in under two minutes.

The day itself was a roller coaster. We arrived at the sports hall at eight o'clock, and the place was buzzing with nervous teams, beeping machines and parents waving flags. Our first run was a disaster: halfway round the track, our robot, Falcon, spun in a circle and refused to move. Ziad turned as white as a sheet. We had twenty minutes before our final attempt, so we crouched in a corner, opened Falcon up and discovered that a single wire had come loose. Adam fixed it with a hair clip borrowed from someone's little sister. I'm not even joking.

When our name was called again, my hands were shaking so much I could barely put Falcon on the start line. Then it zoomed off, followed the line perfectly and dropped the last block into its box with four seconds to spare. The whole hall cheered. We didn't win first prize, but we came second out of fourteen schools, and the judges gave us a special award for "best problem-solving under pressure". I don't think I've ever felt so proud – or so exhausted.

Next year's competition is going to be held in Alexandria, so you have no excuse: you have to come and watch us, or even better, join a team at your new school and challenge us! Imagine us meeting in the final. I'd let you win… probably.

Anyway, I'd better go – I've got a mountain of maths homework waiting for me. Write back soon and tell me everything about your new school.

Speak soon,

Ali

Why this gets the marks
  • Creation of texts 5/5: all three bullet points are developed – what the competition was (paragraph 2), what happened on the day (paragraphs 3–4), feelings and an invitation (paragraphs 4–5). The friendly writer–reader relationship is kept throughout (your terrible jokes, I'd let you win… probably).
  • Vocabulary 3/3: vivid choices suited to a friend – absolute chaos, a roller coaster, buzzing, as white as a sheet, zoomed off, exhausted, with four seconds to spare.
  • Structure 7/7: a teasing subject line, Hi Hassan, on its own line, an opening that asks about the reader and apologises for being quiet, a story told in order (arrival → disaster → repair → success), and a closing paragraph before Speak soon, + first name on the next line.
  • Grammar & punctuation – sentences: short simple sentences create drama (I'm not even joking. The whole hall cheered.), while long complex sentences carry the action (When our name was called again, my hands were shaking so much…).
  • Grammar & punctuation – punctuation: a colon introducing a list (There were four of us: me, Ziad…), brackets for extra information (the new boy who knows more about circuits…), a single dash for emphasis (– all in under two minutes), inverted commas for the judges' exact words, an ellipsis for a pause (I'd let you win… probably), and accurate apostrophes. Together these earn 7/7.
  • Spelling 3/3: competition, circuits, twisting, discovered, borrowed, exhausted, challenge – all correct.

9. Strong sample 2 – formal email

Formal email: asking the headteacher for permission376 words · Strong answer — Creation 5/5 · Vocabulary 3/3 · Structure 7/7 · Grammar & punctuation 7/7 · Spelling 3/3
Task: Your class would like to hold a charity book fair at school. Write an email to your headteacher, Mrs Mansour, asking for permission. In your email you should: • explain the idea and why your class wants to do it • describe how the event will be organised • explain how the school and the charity will benefit

Subject: Request for permission to hold a charity book fair on Thursday 21 May

Dear Mrs Mansour,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing on behalf of Class 8B to request your permission to hold a charity book fair in the school library on Thursday 21 May, during the lunch break and for one hour after school.

The idea came from a class discussion about the children's hospital near our school, which has recently opened a small reading room for young patients. The nurses told our form tutor, Mr Ramy, that the room has very few books; most of its shelves are still empty. As a class, we would like to collect second-hand books from students and families, sell them at low prices, and use the money to buy new books for the hospital. We believe this project would also encourage students to read more, which is one of the school's main aims this year.

We have already thought carefully about how the fair would be organised. Over the next three weeks, students would bring books in good condition to a collection box in the library. A team of eight volunteers from our class would sort the books by age group and price them between five and twenty pounds. On the day itself, the books would be displayed on tables in the library, and two students would be responsible for the money at all times, supervised by Mr Ramy. Any books that are not sold would be donated directly to the hospital.

In our opinion, the whole school would benefit from this event: younger students would be able to buy affordable books, older students would gain experience in planning and teamwork, and the school would build a positive link with the local community. Most importantly, the children at the hospital would receive books that could make their long days a little brighter.

I would be very grateful if you could consider our request. I have attached a short plan, including a timetable and a list of volunteers, and I would be happy to meet you at a convenient time to answer any questions.

Thank you for your time and support. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Laila Samir

Class 8B

Why this gets the marks
  • Creation of texts 5/5: each bullet point has a full paragraph – the idea and reason (paragraph 2), the organisation (paragraph 3), the benefits (paragraph 4). The tone is respectful and confident, and the writer anticipates the headteacher's worries (money supervised by a teacher, unsold books donated).
  • Vocabulary 3/3: precise formal vocabulary – on behalf of, encourage, volunteers, responsible, supervised, affordable, community, convenient.
  • Structure 7/7: a specific subject line with a date, Dear Mrs Mansour, (named) closed with Yours sincerely, + full name and class. The purpose is stated in the first paragraph, the paragraphs follow a logical order (why → how → benefits → request), and the closing line asks for a reply.
  • Grammar & punctuation – sentences: no contractions anywhere, varied complex sentences with relative clauses (…hospital near our school, which has recently opened…), conditional would for a polite proposal, and a long sentence with a list of three benefits for persuasive effect.
  • Grammar & punctuation – punctuation: a colon for explanation (…benefit from this event: younger students…), a semicolon joining two related sentences (…very few books; most of its shelves…), a pair of commas for extra information (our form tutor, Mr Ramy,), accurate commas in lists and after fronted adverbials (Over the next three weeks, …), and apostrophes for possession (children's hospital, school's main aims). Together these earn 7/7.
  • Spelling 3/3: permission, library, encourage, volunteers, responsible, supervised, affordable, convenient – all correct.

10. Common mistakes

MistakeFix
No subject line, or a vague one (Subject: Hello)Always write Subject: + a clear topic. It is the key email layout feature.
Adding a postal address and date as in a letterEmails have no postal addresses at the top.
Text-speak or emojis: u, pls, gr8, :)Write every word in full, even in an informal email.
Formal email that starts Hi Miss! or ends Bye!Dear Mrs Mansour, … Yours sincerely, + full name.
Informal email that sounds like a reportUse contractions, questions to your friend, feelings and humour.
Telling the story in one huge paragraphNew paragraph for each stage: scene → events → feelings → invitation.
Forgetting the purpose in a formal emailState it in the first two sentences: I am writing to request…
Sign-off and name on the same lineSign-off + comma on one line, then the name on the next line.

11. Checklist before you hand in

  • My subject line is clear (formal) or catchy (informal) and matches the content.
  • No postal address or date at the top.
  • Greeting + comma on its own line. Sign-off + comma on its own line, with my name underneath.
  • Named person → Yours sincerely. Dear Sir or Madam → Yours faithfully.
  • Every bullet point has its own developed paragraph.
  • The register suits the reader from start to finish.
  • I used a mix of sentence types (simple, compound, complex).
  • I used accurate commas and apostrophes and at least one colon, dash or pair of brackets correctly.
أهم نصائح الإيميل
  • الإيميل ليس فيه عنوان بريدي ولا تاريخ في الأعلى مثل الخطاب، لكن يجب أن يبدأ بـ Subject: ثم موضوع الإيميل بوضوح.
  • الإيميل الرسمي (إلى مديرة المدرسة أو شركة): لغة مهذبة، بلا اختصارات ولا رموز تعبيرية (emojis)، واذكر هدفك من أول جملة: I am writing to…
  • الإيميل إلى صديقك: لغة ودودة وخفيفة، وأسئلة توجهها إليه، وتفاصيل ممتعة، وكل جزء من الحكاية في فقرة مستقلة.
  • الختام في سطر وبعده فاصلة، واسمك في السطر التالي: الاسم الأول فقط مع الأصدقاء، والاسم الكامل في الإيميل الرسمي.

12. Practice tasks

  1. Task A (informal): You have just come back from a school trip. Write an email to a cousin who could not come. You should: • say where you went and who with • describe the best and worst moments • explain what you learned. Write a subject line and a quick plan.

    Show answer
    Subject: The trip you really should have come on! Greeting: Hi Malek, P1: How are you? Sorry you missed it (you had flu) – I have to tell you everything. P2: where and who – a two-day trip to Wadi El Rayan with Class 8A and two teachers. P3: best moment – sliding down the dunes at sunset. Worst – the bus breaking down for two hours in the desert. P4: what I learned – how two lakes and a waterfall came to be in the middle of the desert, and how to stay patient. P5: next trip in spring, you must come. Write back soon. Sign-off: Take care, + Ali on the next line. Language: a simile, a short dramatic sentence, inverted commas for one line of a teacher's speech.
  2. Task B (formal): The school canteen has stopped selling healthy snacks. Write an email to the canteen manager (you do not know the name). You should: • explain the problem • describe its effects on students • suggest what could be sold instead. Give the greeting, sign-off, subject line and paragraph plan.

    Show answer
    Subject: Request to bring back healthy snacks in the school canteen. Greeting: Dear Sir or Madam, → Yours faithfully, + full name and class. P1: I hope this email finds you well. I am writing, as a Year 8 student, regarding… P2: the problem – since September only crisps, sweets and fizzy drinks are on sale. P3: effects – students feel tired in afternoon lessons, and parents are worried. P4: suggestions – fruit pots, cheese sandwiches, yoghurt and water, priced cheaply. P5: I would be grateful if you could consider… I look forward to hearing from you.
  3. Which sign-off is correct? (a) Dear Mr Fathy … Yours faithfully (b) Dear Sir or Madam … Yours sincerely (c) Dear Mr Fathy … Yours sincerely

    Show answer
    (c). A named person takes Yours sincerely, and Dear Sir or Madam takes Yours faithfully.
  4. Rewrite this formal opening correctly: "hi mrs mansour!! hope ur ok. i want 2 ask u something about a book fair"

    Show answer
    Dear Mrs Mansour, (on its own line) I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to request your permission to hold a charity book fair at school.
All pages in this course

Start here: the exam

Reading: grammar & punctuation

Reading: understanding texts

Paper 1 writing: non-fiction

Paper 2 writing: fiction