Describing a Character

British & IGCSE › Checkpoint 8 English (Cambridge Lower Secondary 0861)

1. What is character description?

A character is a person (or animal or creature) in your story. Characterisation is how the writer shows what that character is like: their personality, feelings, habits and how they change. In Paper 2 (Fiction), your story in Section B Writing (25 marks, about 35 minutes) almost always needs a strong main character — many tasks even have a bullet such as 'describe the character' or 'show how the character feels'. Markers reward characters who feel real and developed, not names attached to events.

Character description also matters in Section A Reading: questions often ask what we learn about a character, how a writer shows their feelings, or what a phrase suggests about them. Learning to write characterisation makes you better at reading it.

2. Features: the STEAL method

Indirect characterisation uses STEAL: Speech, Thoughts, Effect on others, Actions, Looks. You rarely need all five in one paragraph. A quick sketch needs two or three. A main character in a whole story can use all five, spread across the story.

3. How to build a character — step by step

1. Decide the role. Main character (protagonist)? Opponent (antagonist)? Helper? Every character must have a job in the plot.
2. Choose one main trait and one want/fear. E.g. stubborn + wants to win the tournament. Shy + fears speaking in public.
3. Pick a telling detail. One object, habit or feature that reveals the trait (a notebook he never lets anyone see).
4. Introduce with action or speech, not a list. Open with the character doing or saying something typical.
5. Spread STEAL through the story. Looks early, speech and actions in the build-up, thoughts and feelings at the climax, effect on others throughout.
6. Show change. At the climax, the character does something that reveals a hidden side or forces them to change.
7. Close with a lasting image. The final detail shows how the character (or the narrator's view of them) has changed.

4. Building blocks: mix-and-match sentences

5. Useful phrases and vocabulary

Timing in the exam. Section B Writing has about 35 minutes. Use them like this:

6. A strong sample story

Why does the author use…? (all the effects you could write about this sample)

1. Why does the author use the simile 'shoulders like a wardrobe'?

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   Possible answers: to show how huge and broad Uncle Sayed is (looks). To make him seem solid, heavy and hard to move — like furniture. To make him seem frightening to the children at first. To create a humorous, memorable picture of him.

2. Why does the author use the simile 'like two sleeping animals' for his hands?

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   Possible answers: to show his hands are large and still. To suggest hidden power — animals that could wake up at any moment (foreshadowing the dive). To make the reader feel slightly nervous of him. To create a strong visual image.

3. Why does the author use the pair of dashes in 'The old man dived — really dived — and caught the ball'?

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   A pair of dashes always adds extra information: here it adds the narrator's amazed comment that it was a real, professional dive, which shows how surprised he is and makes the moment more dramatic.

4. Why does the author use the colon in 'for the first time I saw what the moustache had been hiding: a crooked, shy smile'?

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   Possible answers: to introduce extra information (what was hidden). To give emphasis to the surprise reveal of the smile. To introduce an explanation that answers the earlier mystery of whether he was smiling or not.

5. Why does the author write the very short sentence 'He never was.'?

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   Possible answers: it creates emphasis and humour after the long description. It shows the narrator's strong first opinion of Uncle Sayed. Its shortness matches the man's hard, unsmiling character. It is later contradicted, so it sets up the twist.

6. What does 'the delivery men handed him their parcels quickly and hurried away without a word' suggest about Uncle Sayed?

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   It suggests that even adults find him frightening or unfriendly (effect on others), which makes his later kindness more surprising.

7. Common mistakes and checklist

8. Practice

1. Practice task: 'You have read an extract about a girl and her strict piano teacher. Write a story about a character who learns something from someone they did not like at first.' Bullets: describe both characters · what happens between them · how the story ends. Write a short plan.

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   G.C.S.P.P.: realistic fiction. Narrator Adam (13, lazy at maths, jokes to hide worry) and Mr Rashad, a new maths tutor (brusque, never smiles, checks his watch). A hot summer tutoring centre in Heliopolis. First person. Whole story. STEAL for Mr Rashad: Looks — ironed shirt, red pen always in hand. Speech — 'Again.' Effect — students fall silent. Actions — he stays late to explain. Plot: (1) first lesson — Adam hates him. (2) weekly red crosses. (3) Adam fails a test and wants to quit. (4) climax — Mr Rashad stays two hours to explain, revealing he failed maths at school too. (5) Adam passes. (6) ending — Adam finds a note in red pen: 'Again — but this time for fun.'

2. Turn this telling sentence into showing with two STEAL elements: 'Karim was very confident.'

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   Example: Karim strolled to the front of the hall with his hands in his pockets (Actions) and winked at the judges (Actions). "Ready when you are," he said, loud enough for the back row to hear (Speech).

3. Write a sentence using 'Effect on others' to show that a new student is mysterious.

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   Example: Whenever the new boy walked into the canteen, conversations dipped for a moment, as if everyone were trying to guess his secret.

4. Give a telling detail for each character: (a) a nervous person, (b) a careful, organised person, (c) a kind grandparent.

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   Examples: (a) a pen lid chewed flat. (b) pencils lined up by size before every lesson. (c) a pocket that always contains sweets for the neighbours' children.

5. Why does a writer use indirect characterisation instead of simply telling the reader the trait? Give three effects.

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   Possible answers: it makes the reader work out the character for themselves, so they are more involved. It makes the character more vivid and believable. It allows surprises and twists, because first impressions can be wrong. It makes the writing more interesting and less like a list.

6. Write two lines of dialogue that show two different personalities (one impatient, one calm).

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   Example: "Hurry up! We'll miss the bus!" Ziad shouted, already halfway down the stairs. (new line) "The bus will wait," his grandfather said, slowly tying his shoelaces. "It always does."